Spurious Awards Of The Year 2011

Doctor Who, Portal 2, Trek, Zombies and more Portal 2: Our pick of the best spurious winners from the past 12 months

TAKING THE PISS OF THE YEAR

It’s the Sega Wee – although sadly that’s not what it’s actually called. Sega launched a game machine in Japanese men’s public urinals that’s controlled by streams of piss. It’s called the Toylet, and comes with a screen mounted above the urinal, which has a target on it. Hit the target to play such games as:

Mannekin Pis – wee as hard as you can
Graffiti Eraser – remove paint by weeing on every part of a picture
The North Wind And Her – the harder you wee, the more a girl’s skirt gets blown up by the wind
Milk From Nose – a multiplayer game where you try to wee harder than the guy next to you (and while you’re winning a guy on the screen blows milk out of his nose… answers on a postcard please)

Now we can’t smoke in pubs, all the fun of trying to get a fag end down the plughole has gone, so the sooner we get these in the UK the better.
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COVER VERSION OF THE YEAR

Proving that some people can create genius even with the most limited of tools, here’s an oddly appealing version of the Doctor Who theme tune that a certain Chris Harwick has generated using Mario Paint . We prefer it to the elastic-band twanging version (opens in new tab) the show used during the “Trial Of A Time Lord” series.

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DULLEST FIGHT OF THE YEAR

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The not-missed The Cape came up with the exciting idea of the hero and villain having a fight on top of a moving train. Unfortunately, one was in a black costume, the other in a dark suit and the fight took place at night. Hello? Anybody there? Has the screen just done a fade to black? No wonder it was cancelled.
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SIGN OFF OF THE YEAR

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In January, a show that lasted seven years, but never jumped the shark, disappeared from our screens with little fanfare and much dignity. SFX had always been fond of Medium , even if, after all that time, they still kept the bedroom phone on Joe’s side of the bed (those midnight calls were never for him) and Allison still always blindly accepted what she saw in her psychic dreams, even if nine times out of ten they were playing mindgames on her (ghosts must be great at cryptic crosswords). The show ended with a unique final sign-off with all the cast waving goodbye as the sets were being struck around them. Tears? We had a few. Bye bye Medium .
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WIKILEAK OF THE YEAR

The dark secret of Superman revealed, courtesy of Cracked.com .
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SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING OF THE YEAR

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Remind us again – which channel was Bedlam broadcast on?
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ALTERNATIVE DOCTOR WHOS OF THE YEAR

Early in the year we were treated to this Turkish take on the Time Lord that swept the internet, and we’re still not sure what it’s all about. Then later in the year, Community gave us another alternative universe slice of Who

US sitcom Community has a slightly different of Doctor Who to the one we know.
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BEER GOGGLES OF THE YEAR

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Been a bit tipsy and done something you’ve regretted over Christmas? You’ve probably got nothing on this chap in a wonderfully warped episode of Being Human . After all, did you stick your tongue down the throat of a rotting zombie? Despite a glue, Polyfilla and staple-gun makeover she still looked like the roughest “yours is the one on the right” ever seen in Welsh nightclub. He’s lucky her tongue didn’t come away in his teeth.

More Spurious Awards on the next page

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