30 things to do in the first hour of Hitman: Absolution

This time it’s personal

It’s time to load up Hitman: Absolution and make the first hour of the game as full and rewarding an experience the soul hollowing act of cold-blooded murder can be. Which, it turns out, is actually very satisfying as there’s all kinds of fun to be had here. We’ve chosen the story mode for our first hour of fun, so choose this side (left) of the single-player if you want to play along. Ready? Then let’s go…

1. Baldly go forth

There’s plenty of fun to be had in the back garden area right after the start, in particular watching the sunlight bounce magnificently off Agent 47’s bald head.

2. Show off for the cameras

Once you’ve killed the gardener (although you don’t have to if you want to be nice), drag him back round to the massive gate and leave him in full view of both security cameras, just for the lulz. They don’t do anything.

3. Book ‘im, Danno

Throwing a heavy hardback book at the back of a guard’s head just makes him ‘suspicious’, although (incredibly) he won’t turn around to see who threw it. Plenty of time to get out the old neck wire.

4. Take out the trash

There are loads of places to hide bodies dotted throughout the level. These wheelie bins are wheelie good for covering your murderous tracks…

5. “The name’s Pond…”

…But hiding bodies in the pond is even better. They sink completely without trace! Who cares about realistic corpse physics when your murders can be 100% evidence-free?

6. Play with the crepusculars

The Glacier 2 engine is capable of some lovely lighting effects. Stand in the way of the sun and watch the light rays stream past your silhouette. What a lovely day for a murderous rampage.

7. Fake your surrender

It’s almost worth getting caught just to see how the guards fall for your ‘fake surrender’ every time. Just hold the A button and Agent 47 puts his hands up, waiting for the bravest guard to approach, before disarming him in an instant. Which leads to…

8. Use a human shield

You can grab people from behind and use them as human shields, but the ‘false surrender’ method automatically gives you one. At this stage, your cover is well and truly blown, but it’s fun to do, and the one-hit gun-butt KO for your unfortunate victim is pleasantly blunt-looking.

9. Throw some knives

When armed with a knife, get into cover and hold the left shoulder button. You’ll see the object’s trajectory, which turns into a red crosshair if you aim it at someone’s head. Even if they’re moving, you’ll land your throw right between their eyes.

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